Today was fairly unremarkable except for the big surprise I had waiting for me when I got home from work. There was a GIGANTIC package sitting in the carport, addressed to me. It was from my sister, Jennie, and I, being the proper, patient kind of person that I am (NOT!), proceeded to rip it open with my keys right there and then on the carport : )
It was a super care package filled with all kinds of goodies - Two gorgeous porcelain teacups in their own special satin-lined box, two cd's, a block of fudge, a can of cappucino wafer rolls, a card, and a gorgeous album of pictures from Emily's wedding. The card was so special, with such encouraging words and kindness. My instructions (in the card) were to put on the music, have a cup of hot tea and goodies, and "enjoy remembering your beautiful daughter's wedding day all over again."
Thank you so much, Jennie - you are amazing! I am almost speechless, and grateful to know (and be related) to someone like you. I'm thankful, not so much for the "stuff" (which I know I will enjoy), but for your love, your prayers, your thoughtfulness and your generosity. Hopefully I won't have to call you in the middle of the night (as you have offered), but to know that you really wouldn't mind if I did is invaluable!
And thanks again to all the other special people who enrich my life in big ways and small - I have SO much to give "Thanksgiving" for!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Editorial correction for previous post
OOPS - that should be "I soaked in a hot TUB" - not hot TUBE....what the heck is that???? LOL.
Soccer fun
Yesterday I was finally able to play some soccer again. Rick and I signed up for the Penn Watkinson soccer tournament (Penn was our wonderful former coach who died of cancer) sponsored by Rainbow Soccer to raise "scholarship" money for needy kids who want to play soccer.
We were under the impression we were going to play a couple of 30 minute games before the "play-off" games (played on a smaller field with no goalies and modified rules) at the Rashkis school fields in Meadowmont, but it turned out that there were 4 games, and one of the guys who signed up for our team didn't show up, so we got to play A LOT! I knew that I'd have sore muscles after not running or playing soccer regularly, so I took an Aleve and soaked in a hot tube before going out the door around 9:25 in the morning. We had a really skilled guy (walk-on) who played with us in the last couple of games, so that made up for our missing team member, and I actually scored a goal in the third game. (That was pretty neat since I'm normally a defender) Go me! The team we played against in that game was a really fun group who didn't try to run you over, so that probably contributed to my goal scoring ; )
The tourney lasted till around 2:30 pm and then we headed over to Brixx's for pizza and beer (non-alcoholic for me : ) It was a beautiful day for soccer (a little cold sometimes if you weren't running, or the sun wasn't shining), but I had warm hats and a scarf and a sweatshirt and fleece jacket for those times. I can't tell you how GRRREAT it felt to be outside in the sunshine with friends, running around and playing and kidding with each other. We've been playing in Rainbow for so long that it feels like one great big family, and we ran into some people we hadn't seen in a while who used to play with us years ago. It made me feel normal again and reminded me that pretty soon I'm gonna be back out there having fun again, as soon as I drive this pesky little cancer out of my body and my life : )
Rick played really well (although he always minimizes his performance and thinks he didn't - he compares it to his 20 year old days of skill and speed), and he was barely walking when we got home in the evening. I tried to nurse him back to health with a heating pad and a muscle relaxant (which causes major drowsiness, so he only took a half pill), and he is snoozing away/sleeping late with Li'l Kitty snuggled up beside him in bed. He had a good time too, I think, despite paying with his body : ) No pain, no gain? Not really...we just need to get some regular exercise instead of being weekend warriors!
I'm doing quite well, with only minor soreness and stiffness and the makings of a blister on my left heel - I changed my soccer shoes from the tight ones to the looser ones after the first game (I'm still trying to break in new shoes).
So today will be a "catch-up" day, with definitely no RUNNING involved! I don't have Monday off, and Rick normally does, but plans to work and take an alternate day off later, but I've taken some vacation days before Thanksgiving and Christmas and am really looking forward to that.
We were under the impression we were going to play a couple of 30 minute games before the "play-off" games (played on a smaller field with no goalies and modified rules) at the Rashkis school fields in Meadowmont, but it turned out that there were 4 games, and one of the guys who signed up for our team didn't show up, so we got to play A LOT! I knew that I'd have sore muscles after not running or playing soccer regularly, so I took an Aleve and soaked in a hot tube before going out the door around 9:25 in the morning. We had a really skilled guy (walk-on) who played with us in the last couple of games, so that made up for our missing team member, and I actually scored a goal in the third game. (That was pretty neat since I'm normally a defender) Go me! The team we played against in that game was a really fun group who didn't try to run you over, so that probably contributed to my goal scoring ; )
The tourney lasted till around 2:30 pm and then we headed over to Brixx's for pizza and beer (non-alcoholic for me : ) It was a beautiful day for soccer (a little cold sometimes if you weren't running, or the sun wasn't shining), but I had warm hats and a scarf and a sweatshirt and fleece jacket for those times. I can't tell you how GRRREAT it felt to be outside in the sunshine with friends, running around and playing and kidding with each other. We've been playing in Rainbow for so long that it feels like one great big family, and we ran into some people we hadn't seen in a while who used to play with us years ago. It made me feel normal again and reminded me that pretty soon I'm gonna be back out there having fun again, as soon as I drive this pesky little cancer out of my body and my life : )
Rick played really well (although he always minimizes his performance and thinks he didn't - he compares it to his 20 year old days of skill and speed), and he was barely walking when we got home in the evening. I tried to nurse him back to health with a heating pad and a muscle relaxant (which causes major drowsiness, so he only took a half pill), and he is snoozing away/sleeping late with Li'l Kitty snuggled up beside him in bed. He had a good time too, I think, despite paying with his body : ) No pain, no gain? Not really...we just need to get some regular exercise instead of being weekend warriors!
I'm doing quite well, with only minor soreness and stiffness and the makings of a blister on my left heel - I changed my soccer shoes from the tight ones to the looser ones after the first game (I'm still trying to break in new shoes).
So today will be a "catch-up" day, with definitely no RUNNING involved! I don't have Monday off, and Rick normally does, but plans to work and take an alternate day off later, but I've taken some vacation days before Thanksgiving and Christmas and am really looking forward to that.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Good movie
I just got back from seeing a really funny, heartwarming movie with a couple of friends called "Dan in Real Life", starring Steve Carrell. I didn't pick out this movie, but I enjoyed it thoroughly and recommend it to anyone. I know, I know, it sounds like a "chick flick", but I heard a lot of male laughter in the audience too.
I won't say too much more about it, so you'll have to go see it for yourself.
One of my friends that I went out with this evening has a friend who knits brightly colored furry-looking hats (almost looks like a "hair" cap, very cute), and she sent along a couple for me - that was so sweet. And last night I went to dinner with another friend who got me a charm bracelet with heart charms and the Susan Komen breast cancer logo - I love it. People can be so generous and loving -- I am constantly amazed and touched by such kindness.
I'm really enjoying my time of feeling good - I think my red blood cell count must be improving because I've got a lot more energy today than I did just a few days ago. Now I just need to put that energy to good use and clean my messy house and do some laundry - this little social butterfly has chores left undone, but she sure is having a good time : )
I won't say too much more about it, so you'll have to go see it for yourself.
One of my friends that I went out with this evening has a friend who knits brightly colored furry-looking hats (almost looks like a "hair" cap, very cute), and she sent along a couple for me - that was so sweet. And last night I went to dinner with another friend who got me a charm bracelet with heart charms and the Susan Komen breast cancer logo - I love it. People can be so generous and loving -- I am constantly amazed and touched by such kindness.
I'm really enjoying my time of feeling good - I think my red blood cell count must be improving because I've got a lot more energy today than I did just a few days ago. Now I just need to put that energy to good use and clean my messy house and do some laundry - this little social butterfly has chores left undone, but she sure is having a good time : )
Monday, November 5, 2007
surprise, surprise, surprise
I know I was disenchanted with my blog last time but knowing that at least ONE (very significant ;-) person enjoyed reading it, I will give it another chance, but still don't promise to having something interesting to write on a daily basis.
I was discouraged on Saturday. I was in the mode where my mind wanted to go out and have fun and be busy and do things, but my body was still not quite cooperative. It's a balancing act lately trying to figure out whether rest or activity is what I need, and after sitting around all day, I realized I should pushed myself to make more of the day....but I definitely felt as if I were the most boring person in the world. At least I realized it and made up for it on Sunday by getting out and doing more, and of course, felt a lot better. I'm trying to make plans for the next 10 days when I'll be feeling fairly normal to make the most of the time until the next chemo cycle.
This whole thing is like a big balancing act. It's hard to stay positive and not be discouraged after being quite sick with one thing or another since last Thanksgiving. It's been almost a year since I had the bowel perforation and hospitalization last November with weeks of antibiotics, followed by a colonoscopy in January, a bowel resection in February, recovery during most of March, a mammogram in May, a biopsy in June, a lumpectomy in July and chemo in September and August.
Through all of this, I keep saying to myself to hang on and sometime soon I will be healthy and can get on with life in full swing. But just as I start feeling like I'm in control, some big whammy comes along to knock me down. I'm used to picking myself up, but sometimes I just feel like I don't have the strength to keep on picking myself up. I feel as if real life is passing me and everyone is having fun but me. I guess that a bit of self-pity that creeps into my thoughts, and I try my darndest to not indulge in it, but for sure what I've had to deal with for a VERY long time now pretty much sucks big time, no matter how you look at it.
I suppose I've been lucky to have been relatively healthy all my life and that old cliche that says "If you have your health, you have everything" (or something like that) was just that - a cliche. I never envisioned the day when I would feel old or weak or unhealthy - so my words of wisdom to anyone with youth and good health and strength is to be grateful every single day for just that, just as I am trying to be grateful for the days when I do feel good, and look forward to being done with this ordeal and hopefully regaining my health when it's all over.
Here's something a bit more lighthearted after all those depressing ramblings above. Last night I watched most of the movie, "Cast Away" again. I love that movie - it gets you right in the heart, especially at the end. It's such a reminder of how much we humans are vital to each other, and how empty life is if there's no one to share it. Anyway, I have a favorite "sleep hat" that I wear around the house and at night to cover my bald pate. It's light and soft and cushy, but I misplace it all the time, and I thought I'd lost it for good this weekend. Well, when I found it, I was soooo happy that I decided to name it "Wilson" since sometimes that hat is like a best friend to me, keeping me warm and keeping my poor bald head company. Picture me saying to my hat, "Oh Wilson, I'm SO glad I found you!!!!" ha ha ha - I crack myself up. So, if you see me talking to my hat, yes, I probably HAVE gone craz(ier), but at least I'm not eating it (my hat)...yet...
I was discouraged on Saturday. I was in the mode where my mind wanted to go out and have fun and be busy and do things, but my body was still not quite cooperative. It's a balancing act lately trying to figure out whether rest or activity is what I need, and after sitting around all day, I realized I should pushed myself to make more of the day....but I definitely felt as if I were the most boring person in the world. At least I realized it and made up for it on Sunday by getting out and doing more, and of course, felt a lot better. I'm trying to make plans for the next 10 days when I'll be feeling fairly normal to make the most of the time until the next chemo cycle.
This whole thing is like a big balancing act. It's hard to stay positive and not be discouraged after being quite sick with one thing or another since last Thanksgiving. It's been almost a year since I had the bowel perforation and hospitalization last November with weeks of antibiotics, followed by a colonoscopy in January, a bowel resection in February, recovery during most of March, a mammogram in May, a biopsy in June, a lumpectomy in July and chemo in September and August.
Through all of this, I keep saying to myself to hang on and sometime soon I will be healthy and can get on with life in full swing. But just as I start feeling like I'm in control, some big whammy comes along to knock me down. I'm used to picking myself up, but sometimes I just feel like I don't have the strength to keep on picking myself up. I feel as if real life is passing me and everyone is having fun but me. I guess that a bit of self-pity that creeps into my thoughts, and I try my darndest to not indulge in it, but for sure what I've had to deal with for a VERY long time now pretty much sucks big time, no matter how you look at it.
I suppose I've been lucky to have been relatively healthy all my life and that old cliche that says "If you have your health, you have everything" (or something like that) was just that - a cliche. I never envisioned the day when I would feel old or weak or unhealthy - so my words of wisdom to anyone with youth and good health and strength is to be grateful every single day for just that, just as I am trying to be grateful for the days when I do feel good, and look forward to being done with this ordeal and hopefully regaining my health when it's all over.
Here's something a bit more lighthearted after all those depressing ramblings above. Last night I watched most of the movie, "Cast Away" again. I love that movie - it gets you right in the heart, especially at the end. It's such a reminder of how much we humans are vital to each other, and how empty life is if there's no one to share it. Anyway, I have a favorite "sleep hat" that I wear around the house and at night to cover my bald pate. It's light and soft and cushy, but I misplace it all the time, and I thought I'd lost it for good this weekend. Well, when I found it, I was soooo happy that I decided to name it "Wilson" since sometimes that hat is like a best friend to me, keeping me warm and keeping my poor bald head company. Picture me saying to my hat, "Oh Wilson, I'm SO glad I found you!!!!" ha ha ha - I crack myself up. So, if you see me talking to my hat, yes, I probably HAVE gone craz(ier), but at least I'm not eating it (my hat)...yet...
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Blogging
I've decided my life is way too boring for a blog. It is more like a soliloquy than a conversation, anyway, and I think I prefer conversation. So, unless I have something really pressing to say, I think this experiment with blogging may be over for a while.
Friday, November 2, 2007
I love Fridays
I think the reason we all love Fridays is the sense of anticipation we have that we're finally allowed to have some fun, free time and endless possibilities, and we've earned it after a long hard week of accomplishments (we hope!). I finally feel close to a normal human being and am reveling in the fact that I have about two more weeks to feel normal till the 15th when I have the 4th and final cycle of the yukky drugs. I just came back from getting another red cell booster shot in my tummy (man, that sucker stings!), and gave into my craving for a Papa John's "Works" pizza (with extra sauce) that I will actually be able to taste with my 2/3-normal taste buds. YAY!!!! I had chocolate cake after lunch today as a treat to myself....there's no stopping my appetite once those buds make themselves known...so there's no chance I'm going to wither away despite cancer and chemo. If I turn into a giant tub of lard, I really don't care at this point, so get ready for some chubby cheeks (and I don't just mean my face - HA!)
I read today that blogging is good for sharing with others and keeping connections, but writing in a journal actually has benefits like boosting your immune system....who knew? The article said that you express more deep thoughts and feelings in a private journal, and that's one of the differences. I can understand that, because I'm guessing other people don't want to be depressed by really honest but really negative feelings - most people don't feel really comfortable sharing or reading things that are too dark to hear...We all want to feel like we are coping and on top of the world.
So, here's to Friday, the weekend, and feelin' good!
I read today that blogging is good for sharing with others and keeping connections, but writing in a journal actually has benefits like boosting your immune system....who knew? The article said that you express more deep thoughts and feelings in a private journal, and that's one of the differences. I can understand that, because I'm guessing other people don't want to be depressed by really honest but really negative feelings - most people don't feel really comfortable sharing or reading things that are too dark to hear...We all want to feel like we are coping and on top of the world.
So, here's to Friday, the weekend, and feelin' good!
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